on violation and shame: a letter to my children

I am violated.  I am ashamed. You may not think this affects me; a straight white girl of very modest income bordering on non-existent income. A white girl far removed from Missouri, Florida, Louisiana, and now Texas;  and all the other numerous places of violation and shame. A white girl safe in her small village,…

The top 10 things parents should be telling Generation Z

Today’s youngsters are a unique breed and are having unique challenges that are leaving their parents reeling, and grappling with a way to help.  Marketers have coined the term “Generation Z” to describe this special bunch, ranging in age from 2-19, but that title hasn’t become permanent yet. Another contender is the term “iGen,” pointing…

You win some. You lose some. Sometimes it’s both.

It’s been eight very long years since my youngest left for her first day of kindergarten, a first day that was just a small glimpse of so many more firsts yet to come; and a reminder of so many firsts that had passed. A day that happened, for me, with nothing more memorable than pure…

I let my 9 year old buy her own dinner. Gasp.

The two of you probably don’t know that you broke me that evening in May, three long years ago.  It was a small break, and temporary, you don’t have that much control over me.  But there was a crack, nonetheless, and it was probably just because I was tired that I didn’t bite back. My…

“Really? That’s really what you would do?”— When your kid goes rogue.

Going rogue:  exhibiting maverick-like behavior, or bucking the status quo—  Merriam-Webster My 16 year old daughter is one smart cookie.  Maybe not your honor-roll, chemistry and math-loving type smart, but she is certainly up there in functional brain activity. School is not for her, and she’s spent the past two years of her life proving…

It Doesn’t Take Much

It really doesn’t take much to change your view on a subject.  I guess that what prevents people from doing it more, is that what it does take is often difficult to admit to:   That you might not know everything. About three or four months ago, I was having a conversation with my 16 year…

HOPE IS A FLUID STATE

I’ve recently begun paying close attention to how my mood is when I wake up.  Either in the morning to get the kids up for school (if I haven’t worked that night), or in the afternoon (if the daytime WAS my night’s sleep), or after an evening nap before I head into work. As I…

For Love Of A Parent

“Have your children picked out your grave yet!?!” The question was forcefully and loudly spat at me from across the darkened hospital room, and I don’t think I’d ever actually heard a snarl before this. I’d read about snarls, of course, but had never myself been on the receiving end of one, and it effectively…

Dear friend of my daughter,

I hope you will forgive me. I may have changed your life today, and those lives of your baby brothers, and I can only pray that it will be better for you.  Because I’m not sure. You came to me in confidence this morning, and asked for my help.  But I don’t think you wanted…

Because It’s Never Done

Time. My most hated word. The keeper of all that disgusts me. My arch-enemy of all arch-enemies. Yet I can never get enough of it. I’m always looking for more; desperate, scraping, scrounging, like after some narcotic that promises relief. I can never hold on to it; it slips away, through my fingers, my toes,…